I want.....

I want to help the child in Darfur who is about to be a victim to genocide.
I want to be fully in control and able to provide for my future wife and kids.
I want to be on the right path spiritually.
I want to change the world for the better.
I want to be wise.
I want to ease the suffering of a family in poverty.
I want to save the death of a love because of a loss of means to provide.
I want everyone to have the same minimum standard of life.

But.....
But the children in Darfur are so far away, and the child soldiers in Congo are not to be forgotten.
But the emotions and chaos in my mind hold me back in pursuit of an education to do so,
But there are so many views and conflicts to resolve in the path to what is right.
But the road to hell is paved in good intentions.
But the fool believes he is wise.
But I have not the means to ease my own family's suffering.
But I have not the means to ease my own family's suffering.
But I am lost is in the chaos of the world, unable to undertake such a task.

So...
So I have a goal...
...to become a man of education
...to become a leader.
...to gain motivation from other's weakness.
...to be a jack of all trades.
...to query my soul with every breath.
...to do hard work now when it is here for me to do.
...to sacrifice some of my means to provide life to others.
...to find clarity and focus in times of chaos.

And others....
...have said this before.
...have undertaken this.
...have failed.
...have become corrupt.
...have forgotten who they are.
...have become infactuated with the material.
...have lost themselves to chaos.

And so I do my best. Looking for answers. Asking God to help guide me, knowing that I must walk these steps or another set of steps and that I have a choice. I must find a way. It is my choice to continue this path, and I will continue it.

Sep 21, 2008