Run for health? No that is not my reason.

This post is a personal journal entry for myself, but you might find it interesting.

I have never really run for any reason other than the occasional spurt to get healthy. Tonight I ran. I ran for a different reason. I ran to get out. To escape.

There is this constant noise of things that develop into my mind. It is a chaos. It is an oscillation amongst finances, school (homework), ability to attain focus, spirituality, schedules, my life goal and God. It creates a fog. These things cloud my mind. They cause me to lose focus and to stress. From an attempt to simply comprehend and contemplate all these problems I become blinded to any possible progress to any ends. Focus and concentration is the solution this is one thing I can see. However, doing this is so difficult. There is such a powerful tornado of thoughts. Meditation works, but only for so long.

So tonight I ran. I ran until I was tired. Then I ran some more. I ran to feel. I ran, because I have become numb. I ran to feel something, even if it is the pain of my muscles as they secumb to fatigue. The night is so peaceful. The more I ran the more I yielded to my present experience. My thoughts cleared as my senses grew stronger. My sweat doing its best to cool me, heat increasing, muscles growing more tired, and the repeating footsteps of my feet as they echoed on the concrete. I experienced the world as it was for that short time. After the run, I find it much easier to direct my thoughts. This all occurred around 2:00 am in the morning - the run lasted about an hour (constant running). The campus is so quiet. The sky is of stars. It is a run of solitude. A run which is invaluable, and I believe I will continue in the future. A run which leaves me very receptive and very much un-blinded.

Oct 20, 2008